I am sitting here in the dark.
The song on the radio suddenly seems so far away, when lost in the waves of my choking thoughts.
“See the animal in his cage….”
.... I wish you were here with me, right now. I’d like to hear your voice ....
I need something or someone to calm me down.
Not by hurting myself.
No more medicine.
Nor the suicidal dreams.
I don’t want to feel lonely. I don't want to feel hated.
I’d like to be hugged, cuddled and loved.
I want my guitar, hear its soft voice and fall asleep with it.
I don’t want these tears on my face.
I don’t want to have these dark feelings again…
… that I am not worthy to live.
I want to drown myself in music instead ...
Softly singing.
I hold on to you, just hold on to me.
Don’t run away, don’t go, don’t stop, just stay…together we will fade away.
Is what I feel, all those things….creations of my own? Am I living in an illusion of my mind? I keep on looking, but I can’t find the right words.
In my mind, there’s going something blank. I am breaking apart once again.
Right now, I just feel numb.
Dumb.
I am a thing,
Shattered to pieces.
Blown up.
Torn apart.
Broken.
Not worth repairing.
I am something of yesterday, thrown away today ....
2 comentários:
Lamento que você não está se sentindo bem. Por favor, não perca a esperança, você é forte e eu acredito que você é uma boa pessoa! *abraços*
[lentamente abraça volta]
Obrigado, Adela. Eu só preciso de tempo para curar e para se concentrar em melhorar a mim mesmo como uma pessoa ...
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